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I recently made a post about my breakup on here. The gist is that my (22F) gf decided to break up with me following a 3 week break because she realized that with everything that's built it'll be hard to go back to a sense of normalcy, at least right now, ending a 3 year relationship. What it boiled down to was two different levels of emotional tolerance and maturity, and at this point she doesn't want the burden of waiting for me "to get better" anymore, and breaking up allows me to grow without expectations on her. We agreed to stay in contact, and maybe one day we'll try again; she said we'll still talk like how we did during the break (check ins, asking urgent questions, sending wishes, but otherwise no contact), except that this isn't a break and for all intensive purposes is permanent. She did say she has no intention of seeing anyone else anytime soon, which I guess makes me feel better. Also, she is pretty secure attachment with some avoidant tendencies in the past (way before we dated), and I am anxious attachment style with low avoidance (more or less the same level of avoidance, just different levels of anxiety).
It's only been a week today since we broke up. I really really want to reach out to her, just to talk or something or see how she's doing. We've barely talked since we broke up last week, but we did run into each other at the gym 2 days ago; it wasn't really that awkward and we talked like we used to just catching up and laughing. It feels like she wants me to grow so that we could be together, but in the meantime wants to heal and move on herself in case I don't? It's only been 7 days, is it a bad idea if I reach out?
Tl;dr: (22F) gf broke up with me (22M) because of differing levels of emotional maturity that makes it to where her needs havent been met. we broke up so that I can work on myself without underlying burden and expectations. the breakup was amicable, and she said maybe we'd try again, but it'd have to be at least 6 months from now. i think she wants me to work on myself so we can be together hopefully, but in the meantime she can heal and move on if i dont. is it a bad idea to reach out? the silence and anxiety is killing me.
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- 9 months ago
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