This is a complicated situation but I'll try my best to get all the nuances across.

My partner has a narcissistic dad. She got childhood trauma from this person and as a result has trouble with any negative emotion from me. She is nc since a long time ago, and is now in therapy that seems to help a lot. But I have been her "therapist" for so long now I feel strung out.

The problem arises that I have autism, so where she deals with a lot of feeling sad, I deal a lot with frustration. I have become very good at dealing with it. But part of dealing with it for me is being able to talk about it freely when it happens. This makes me able to deal with it and let it go quickly. If I keep it in it just gets worse and worse until it comes out in a non tactful way.

The issue is that she sees me being frustrated with anything as a scary situation. As a result I have to keep it to myself. Mostly because she compares me to her dad, as he was frustrated a lot too according to her. Obviously I don't want to be anything like him thus have found other ways to cope. But I notice it's really starting to affect me badly mentally.

All I really need is for my partner to be there for me when I vent. And instead I'm not able to and feel like I'm a bad person for having the emotion. I understand things upset me that other people wouldn't and vise versa. But am I asking to much of her?

To give an example. I'm typing this after I got upset that she doesn't listen to me speak. I feel like she doesn't think it's important what I have to say. It's probably the case but it keeps happening over and over. Even after sitting her down and telling her how it makes me feel. As a result I got frustrated and instead of being there and making me feel better she just went to sleep. I'm literally typing this 2 hours later and her sleeping next to me. Unable to really make sense of it all.

When I tried to bring it up she just said I get upset about everything and started crying. She felt like I was just trying to hurt her. Bit I just feel that way and just want to be heard. So after calming her down she went to sleep.

Am I asking to much? Help me make sense please. Because I don't know if our relationship can work out like this in the long run. I feel like I'm more of a parent than a partner at this point.