Hey, so I’ve been living in Jersey for about a year now (recently moved from Miami) and back in October I met someone on hinge who really caught my attention. Shes started off super sweet and caring but would pull back when it came to serious talks. She mentioned she had recently downloaded hinge and noted she prefers things at a slower pace. I overthink alot and thought being from a party city gave me a stigma or raised a red flag. However, when we were together it felt smooth & the conversations and vibe just flowed. After a few weeks of seeing each other I told her I deleted my hinge account and wasn’t trying to keep meeting new people, she replied saying alot was happening fast between us. I reassured her I was interested in being exclusive although we didn’t need titles right away. She pulled back and said it was too much for her, then we stopped talking for about a week. That next Friday she texted me saying she was sorry and she see’s the potential in us but she was just scared of not fully knowing who I was (which I understand). We went out and had sex for the first time. I remember thinking YESSSS because I really do like her.

About 2 months pass and things were going smooth between us. Christmas came around and she pulled back again with the family bday/holiday excuses. I said “I understand” and continued to think we were okay. Then I felt super weird as she was being desert dry around Christmas. I had gotten her presents and was excited to give them to her but since she was being so dry, I wasn’t inclined to make an effort to see her. Then I made a new hinge account and found her.

I didn’t tell her but I was pretty defeated inside and felt toyed with. I regifted her presents and decided to move on and did not respond to her texts/calls. This was the 2nd time she gets dry with me and I would be a fool to think she was an angel. 3 weeks of no contact ensued.

After the 3 weeks, she sends me a text saying she was sorry with how she handled me and wasn’t trying to end things with me but had a shitty holidays with her family fighting and alot going on with work. I decided to invite her out that night and we had a great time as a result of it and sparked our romance again. Alcohol definitely had the best of us that night but we started to talk again everyday and night including her spending nights at my place.

It is now the end of February and I again feel the pull back from her as I haven’t seen her since Valentines day where we exchanged cute gifts and had a long night of eating, drinking, and romance. We would see other occasionally on weekdays but mostly on weekends. The past 2 weekends now she hits me with “I think I’m going to be busy the entire weekend” and basically ignores me. I was out on other dates but I felt hurt that I had been investing so much time and effort into her to only get this distant penpal feeling.

I am not a toy to be shelved when shes done playing with me. I make six figures and have a great head on my shoulders which makes me a prize for many women. I will be ending things with her the next time she reaches out, but how?

I want to say “You don’t consistently fulfill my needs and don’t let me in to fulfill yours. This is the third time you break no-contact and there will not be a fourth” but is that too mean? Another part of me wants to ignore her forever.

Any advice is appreciated, thanks!