I’m 44M and have just got to a point in life I don’t feel as emotionally connected to anything. I joined the Army at 18 and married my first wife at 19. We had a daughter together and had normal young relationship problems. Then I got deployed to Afghanistan and while I was gone she had a boyfriend the entire time. We got a divorce and then I was severely injured on my next deployment. Got partial paralysis and all. I am able to still walk so I’m thankful for that but cannot run and do the things I used to do. This depressed me very bad. I just sucked it up and moved on with life. I then got remarried in 2006. Was married about 5 years and had a son together and I was raising the 3 bonus sons she already had prior to marriage. Then about year 6 started to realize she was not a good person. My daughter would come visit for the summer and she wouldn’t have anything to do with her and would just ignore her presence. She told me “I don’t do good with other peoples kids”!!! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing after all I did for our kids. I treated them boys like they was my own and still do. But I wanted to make this marriage work no matter what. Thinks just kept getting worse and worse. I toughed it out another 12 years and finally had enough. We recently got a divorce. I started talking to someone and let her know I wasn’t ready to jump right back in. I had been in a serious relationship all my life. I wanted to explore some and live a little. She said we could do some fun things together and with other couples. I agreed and it got forgot about. She needed someplace to stay and she moved in with me. Every time I mention exploring some she avoids it and brushes it off. It has made me colder inside that no one cares what I want and have spent years pleasing others. Is it normal it’s making me resentful and want to take matters in my own hands? She has since invited her 21 year old son to live with us pretty much without even asking me. Even if she did I’d be a bad person for saying no. I feel like I’m trapped again in life and have grown cold.