We (27F & 28M) are writing this post together as couple. We have been friends for over 15 years and after about 3/4 years of very minimal contact we reconnected while waiting to get the COVID vaccine in June 2021. We have been inseparable since then. We are absolutely sure we are each others person. Our days are filled with laughter and we have so much fun together. We share the same values and we agree on pretty much everything. We have been living together for about 1.5 years and we feel as if we’ve outgrown our apartment. We have four cats and too much junk (TBH). We discuss our future home all the time: we have had all the conversations about this next step and after many amazing and exciting discussions we have decided that we would build our dream home in a plot of land near a beautiful lake in the woods that’s already in my (28M) family. As my father is already building a house for my sister, in a recent conversation he has offered to pay for the house. This expedites our dream tenfold. What we dreamt we could have 5-10 years from now could be our reality much much sooner. All amazing things, right? We are a couple of lucky SOBs. However now that we find ourselves dreaming even louder and discussing all the details about this future house there is a looming problem over our heads. She wants kids & I don’t. She is absolutely sure she wants to be a mother, no fucking chance she will change her mind on this. While I can’t say that I am 100% sure I’ll never want kids I highly doubt I will ever want them. I just never saw myself having a child and I struggle a lot with mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. I’m now much much better but from 16 to 24 I was an absolute wreck. Anxiety sent me to the ER almost weekly (not exaggerating) while depression made me quit what everyone thought would be a successful path in Physics. I’ve been in therapy (2x a week) since I was 12 and I stopped 2 years ago and I’ve been so much better and I’m now in a career path that I really like and looks promising. I just feel like I deserve to live my life without the burden of having someone completely relying on me, and I do not want to put someone in this world to live through all the fucked up things in this world, inside and outside your head. We have had many conversations about this topic but neither of us has ever tried to convince the other to change their mind as we both believe that forcing or convincing someone is the worst possible thing you can do in a scenario like this. Sooo, how do we approach this? Should we go to couples therapy? Just keep taking about it? Is there any way to have this conversation that could help us? Please don’t just tell us to just break up, Reddit.

TLDR: very happy couple, loves of each others lives. She wants kids, he doesn’t.