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We've dating for more than a month now. I've spent Christmas with him and his family. Met his friends and he has been a lovely boyfriend. He wanted to move things very fast. I wanted to keep things casual at the start but he begged for me to be his girlfriend. He is extremely affectionate. Will kiss his my hand up and down and constantly tell me how beautiful I am. Constantly ask if he is a good boyfriend and seem worried about me. He was extremely focused on me for weeks.
After boxing day I left his. I knew something was up. He didn't respond to any texts or say goodnight. He ALWAYS does. I call him in the morning and he shouts at me. Tells me he doesn't like me as a person and thinks I'm a bad person. That I made jokes about his insecurities and don't let him on his phone enough. That he might break up with me .
Later that night he says he loves me and doesn't want to break up. He will try better. I was very angry at him because I didn't deserve the cold shoulder over nothing. It ends in me telling him I hate him and don't want anything to do with him.
Well we arrange to see each other. He tells me that he was mad over me always kissing him when he texts a friend. Which was unintentional. His explanations are vague and he seems extremely withdrawn. He just silently mutters I'm sorry . He tells me I seem way less hostile then he thought and he doesn't know what to do .
I tell him are you breaking up with me? He says yes I am . I asked him why he lied over texts and didn't share this information. He said because he isn't a jerk. I said extremely hurtful words to him and left . I was shaking in tears . Well then I came back.
I asked him if he really loved me and if so why is he leaving me? He started to explain in a angry tone. I'm not good for you , I constantly make you sad. You can do better. I'm going to hurt you again and again. I don't want to hurt you .
I said to him if he really loves me . Why doesn't he try one more time? He reluctantly agrees. Well then we sit down and he kisses me. Tells me how much he loves me. My brain doesn't believe a thing . He explains he only said what he said in that call because he wanted to push me away .
The whole journey back I was crying. I got myself drunk just to not feel so awful. I know we are back together but I feel like he can abandon me at anytime. That he stopped loving me out of nowhere. Did I make the wrong choice?
TDLR : boyfriend thought I was too good for him so he pushed me away by saying he doesn't like me as a person. Had to convince him to stay and give it another shot
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