I have been struggling with my 3 years old relationship for a good while now, I don't feel fulfilled in it but I do have so much love and attachment to my partner that makes it impossible for me to walk away.

I'm from Brazil and I run a successful office and I earn well, given that I can work remotely I have moved in with my partner in Germany, left friends and family for her.

My partner is still doing university and hence doesn't have as good of a paying job yet so I pay for most the bills, they also suffer from depression and ADHD, so I also do all of house chores, like all, groceries, cooking, cleaning, taking out the garbage, laundry etc.

My partner is far more invested in their virtual life than real life, despite my efforts to always hype them about doing stuff physically together, going out, I always take us to eat at nice places out, car trips etc but they are always super plastered. On the other hand when they go into "VRChat" (their favourite thing in life) they are a different person entirely, they become out going, a lot more loosen, partying, being friendly etc.

I have always struggled with sexual frustration in our relationship, we rarely have sex and I often find myself begging for crumbles, like a meh masturbation however on the other hand she does VRChat Erotic Role Playing with her friends quite often, she even schedules it in advance and is super excited for it.

I've come to the realization I am not happy or fulfilled in this relationship but when I started talks of a possible break up we both got super emotional and in the end I just couldn't bring myself to do it, but that didn't solve any of my problems in this relationship, I don't very much care about VRChat and I'm a far more real life physical type of person... feels that at this point I'm merely delaying the inevitable though.

I tried stuff like, "I'll take you to the best lingerie store in town and we'll get all the sexy and fancy stuff for you and maybe we can do sexual rp together and all" but her answers are negative and then goes like "in VRChat its just better because there my body doesn't matter, I get to be a super sexy dragoness instead!" Which is jarring to me, she looks very good irl and I have never, NEVER shamed her for her looks once in my life, the contrary I always made sure to flatter her and fill her with compliments... literally have no idea what to do any more in these regards.

How can I go about this? Because right now I feel much more of a very understanding father to her than her boyfriend. It has become unfulfilling but the feelings and emotions I feel for her are as genuine as they get.... yet I realize her ERP VRChat partners are honestly getting a better experience out of her than me who's literally taking care of her daily.