Hey everybody, looking for some (female) perspective on this issue.

For context: I (M33) was very shy and insecure about my looks as a teenager but started blooming up when I turned 18 and had my first sexual encounters. Since the last 15 years I work in a field, where my good looks get rewarded and appreciated. I am in a position where my job and success is seeing as attractive by women.

My ex (F30) told me about meeting a famous singer when she was just 15 (he was 32 at that time) and had a sexual affair with him over a few years. We were cuddling after having sex when she told me this, without me really asking about it. This made me feel very insecure and also jealous in a way. It triggered this feeling of a lonely teenager who thought he could never meet a girl who liked him. For the rest of our relationship the thought of her being taken advantage of an older (powerful) man hit me randomly. I also couldn’t understand why she told me this at such an early stage in our relationship and I blamed her for planting this thought in my mind. Fast forward, I started seeing a girl I really like (F33) and as our relationship is mostly sexual at the moment I can imagine having a more serious relationship with her. She is sexually very open, even more as I am and talking a lot about her fantasies. We were laying in bed after sex and talking randomly about the towns we grew up in and she just randomly started talking about her and her best friend having threesomes with older men after meeting them at clubs when they were 16-17 years old. It kinda shook me, as it reminded me so much of that first situation.

There’s obviously the moral component of the stories: adult men shouldn’t take advantage of underage girls in this way.

Then there’s the inner looser-teenager being triggered and I feel a dis balance as I couldn’t have any experiences at that age, while they lived their sexuality in such a ‘intense’ way.

And then there’s the feeling these stories are being told to have some kind of leverage in the beginning of a relationship. Or they are intimidated by the attention I get from other women and want to establish their leverage.

I’m very well aware that everyone has their history and that it shapes who you are but I can’t really figure out why this irritates me so much.

What’s behind these stories, why do these girls tell them to me? If I were to ask them, they would probably say that it’s no big deal, but why telling them then? How should I talk about it with the woman I currently see?