me (22m) and my gf (20f) have been together for almost a year. we both love each other but I have been so internally conflicted for the past couple months about wether or not I want to be in a relationship or not. I’ve had relationships in the past but all were very short and this is the first serious one and longest one. i’ve always been what you would call a “player” and always struggled with commitment.

A couple months ago we had broken up for 3 days and then got back together. i believe part of the reason why i wanted this breakup was to be single again and have fun with other girls. but i cried so much and missed my gf. i was thinking that i was making the biggest mistake of my life by leaving her and that i would look back and regret it. we had some issues that we resolved. but during that 3 day period i re downloaded my dating apps. i had “missed” the thrill or whatever you call it of talking to girls and being single (i never actually did anything with other girls during these 3 days). when we got back together i deleted my profiles and the apps. i’ve always been loyal to my gf because in the past in one of my short relationships, i cheated. this is not something i’m proud of and its something i don’t want to do again.

i told myself that I don’t wanna break up again in the future because i didn’t want to go through all of that emotional trauma again. so i guess my question is, do i stay in my relationship with my girlfriend who I love, or break up with her to be single and enjoy being out of a relationship?