For a lot of painful and complex reasons my husband and I separated 2 months ago. He moved to an apartment a mile away and our son spends a day or 2 with him on the weekend. (Plus he takes him to school every day.)

My husband did not want to separate and he's having a very difficult time. We only communicate via text because every time he saw me or talked to me he'd burst into tears. Before he moved out I witnessed several times when my son would casually ask him, "How ya doing, Dad?" and he'd start sobbing uncontrollably. My son would end up hugging him and comforting him. Since he's moved my son reports this has continued to happen and he's very worried about his dad.

Our son has had a lifelong battle with crippling anxiety and ADHD well as some Autism issues. (Like requiring residential care for months at a time.) He is very intelligent and empathetic. I don't feel like we should hide our emotions from our son, but I'm also very concerned that my husband is basically dumping all of his pain onto our kid who is already struggling.

When I feel down I just explain to my son that I'm sad and might go to my room to cry for a bit. I want him to know it's okay to feel whatever you feel but I don't ask or expect him to take care of me. I have loads of empathy for my husband. He's doing the best he can, I guess. I feel like it is emotionally immature and inappropriate to be burdening our son with his grief.

Should I say something to my husband about this and encourage him to process his emotions with his friends or his therapist rather than our son? Or should I just let it play out?