so my partner has been very reckless recently with a certain substance. i worriedly messaged his friend in hopes that the friend will say its nbd and i could calmly drop it, but instead, the friend expressed great concern. so we decided to gather a couple of my partners friends and hold him an intervention.

i also set boundaries and gave him a deadline to go sober by, because i have set the boundaries of “i dont want to be with someone whos constantly under the influence”, and he begrudgingly agreed. i even tried to encourage him by planning a dinner date and a couples massage for when he does it to show him i believe in him, which massively backfired and resulted in him calling me manipulative.

well long story short, a few days ago he told me that the only reason hes quitting is because he values the relationship.

he told me that the intervention felt like manipulation, and after i explained why it wad held, he still stopd his ground on it being manipulative, just maybe not as much because i didnt tell his friends what to say.

i know its probably his attachment to the substance talking, but im so fucking hurt. how do i make him see that im not trying to be manipulative, but im coming from good faith? is that possible at all? or am i forever going to be the villain?

tldr; held partner an intervention and upheld boundaries and now hes calling me manipulative