My now ex bf (M,31) and I (F, 27) broke up about 3 months ago. We dated for almost 3 years and moved in together very quickly after meeting online (red flag, I know). He moved states to be with me but was only about a 4 hour drive from his home. Of course the honeymoon stage was incredible but as time went on I learned he was heavily addicted to alcohol and nicotine. He was still searching for a job, so I supported us both, including his habits. To sum it up, he only ended up working for a total of 6 months out of the entire 3 years we were together. Through that time I worked full time and went to college full time. My job didn't pay well enough to support us both so I took out loans to pay for rent and other necessities. I would beg him to get a job and send him job postings, always emphasizing how hard it was on me to support us both. I started saying no to buying him beer and nicotine every day as thats obviously not a necessity and it's super expensive. He would give me the silent treatment and I wasn't healthy mentally so I would always cave and get him what he wanted. The times I didn't, I would find that my things were missing. Later on I learned that he pawned 3 different things of mine while I was working to buy his beer and nicotine. He lied to me about knowing where my things went and gaslighted me into thinking I misplaced them. Stupidly I forgave him, he was great at taking care of my emotions and I was hopeful he'd get a job and things would turn around. Earlier this year I broke, I couldn't support us both anymore and I broke up with him. He didn't have a working car, as any money he would get would go to things like switches or ps5's (that would all end back up at pawn shops). So it took a while for his dad to come get him and bring him back down to where he lived before. I've found out other things he's lied about and confronted him about everything. He apologized profusely and said he just got depressed living with me and that he couldn't make it work but that he's going to try everything he can make it work now. He got his old job back and barely drinks now. He even sends me money to help me pay off my debt I got into trying to keep us afloat. I don't understand why he couldn't put this amount of effort into himself the years we were together and I was struggling and he doesn't either. He's just trying now. My question is, do you think he can genuinely change or is he just trying to change so he can have me back?