hi,

i will try to keep this succinct. we’ve been together for 3 years and currently attend the same college, hence why we live together. i cannot afford to live on my own, and neither can he, so we made the decision to sign a lease together back in january of this year.

about a year into our relationship, he emotionally (unless you consider phone sex to be physical lol) cheated on me with his ex, who lived in another state at the time. this lasted for a month. i made the choice to move past it, and we continued to stay together.

following that situation he has, on multiple occasions, lied and broken boundaries of mine. i wont go into detail for clarity sake, but this has caused my anxiety to skyrocket, and resulted in me looking through his phone several times (i am aware that is wrong, and i very much regret doing it. i was, however, honest with him and let him know that i did it.) the biggest issue was in may, when i found texts between him and a girl who he very much lacks any type of boundaries with. essentially, her text advised him to break up with me because he “doesn’t see a future with me” and he’s clearly bored, amongst many other things. i tried to end our relationship there, but he essentially manipulated me into staying (lots of “i dont want to lose you,” “i cant imagine you being with someone else,” and “what about the apartment”). so, stupidly, i stayed.

now that we’re moved in, i genuinely cannot do this anymore. things have gotten better—there hasn’t been any true conflict or breeches of trust. but all of these issues have taken a great toll on me mentally—i’ve suppressed everything that’s happened and i cannot hold it in anymore. our apartment is a one bedroom, and both of our names are on the lease. as stated previously, neither of us can afford to live on our own, so i don’t think i’ll be able to convince him to break the lease (which lasts until july! isnt that lovely)

i know i made mistake after mistake, and i was incredibly naive and blind to the gravity of my situation. i’m just at a loss, and would appreciate any advice from people who’ve been through a similar situation.

should i just break up with him and endure the long and awkward months ahead? should i continue what i’m doing and pretend everything is fine, and be miserable for the rest of the lease? i feel like i have no other options. i brought this onto myself.

tldr: trapped in a year long lease with my boyfriend, who has cheated on me and is a chronic liar. cant afford to leave, so i dont know what to do.