M21 F22, Gf rejects any advances

How do I approach her and get her to acknowledge how much it means to me to be open with her?

I met my girl a year ago now. We instantly hit it off. I used to be able to comfort her when she’s struggling with issues. And I’m also there for you. She used to really respect that of me. But slowly she seemed to become distant again. Kind of expecting me to do a lot more. She started making me pay for meals more. When she knows I’m not doing as good on money. I try to make it up to her by getting her gifts and flowers. Because I appreciate what she does for me. This week has been really hard, we have been getting into arguments basically every day. One of them was because I throw up after a festival. And another because I wanted the ride my bike around the city. Both times she expresses that she felt like I wasn’t acknowledging her feelings. I told her the throw up thing happens sometimes. But I understand how it can be embarrassing and I’m sorry. And the bike thing is I wanted to ride around the city because I haven’t ever ridden there. She didn’t want me too and was worried about me. Again saying if I don’t stop I’m not acknowledging her feelings. I told her I am because when she said she can’t hear me and she expressed that she felt mad because I was continuing to ride while talking to her, I stopped riding until I was done talking to her. She was worried about me and wanted me to be safe. But because of that she ended up calling me names and I shut the phone on her. I told her, please I am listening to her but we need to work together and she need to express knowing that I want to ride. Eventually she was okay with me texting her knowing I’m okay.

The sad truth is this behavior has been going on for a while. And she has acknowledged before how draining it is on both of us when she refuses to negotiate. PS she comes from a family who dont really acknowledge her feelings most of the time.

When I met her I used to be 160 lbs. I used to go the gym a lot more then I do now. And slowly I made a conscious decision to not go to the gym as much because I needed to focus on my studies and work. Sadly, because of this I gained 50lb and I’m 209 lb right now. Otherwise I am healthy. I bike about 12 miles average everyday and been managing my cardio. Me and her used to be very consistent when it came to being intimate with one another. But slowly, she stopped. And I think generally became repulsed by me. She’s no longer engaged with my advances. And when we talk about it. She acknowledged some things but doesn’t have the motivation to do anything about it. Intimacy has become just fulfilling my needs instead of something we do to grow together. I hate it. It’s slowly made be feel worst about it. We don’t do it as often anymore, when we used to do it at least once a week. We have when months without ever doing it. And she uses that as an excuse to make me wait. It’s always me asking for it. When it used to be us. I don’t want it to be just me. I hate that it’s just me.

A couple of months ago she started getting bored of where we were. I acknowledge that and we started going out more and often but when she came back she still felt bored and it made her tired. That was the beginning of everything. I tried a lot to make her feel better, because also some days we couldn’t go anywhere because we had responsibilities. And I know how much that made her feel disappointed. And I tried to make it up to her.

This whole summer she traveled to a different state for most of it only seeing me for a few weeks and the whole time it was either she was tired or bored. She also expressed that she’s tired of seeing me everyday. This of course got me worried. Because it made me feeling like I did something.

Guys I don’t know what to do. I’m being pulled in both directions. I want things to get better. And I’m hoping for it. But also it’s been going on for a while. I feel like I’m gambling weather the day is gonna go smoothly or not.