We are a married couple (M43/M47) who have been friends with another couple (M39/M39) our whole relationships and for M47 and M39 individually for 20 years. Since COVID though it seems we see them less and less, and only when we buy them tickets to a concert, comedy show etc. They never seem to invite us to anything and when we do meet their news seems to be how much fun they had with their other friends in a big group partying and taking drugs, which is not really our scene. We do always have a blast together though.

Talking about their 40 bday plans it seems we are left out as they want to do VIP Cochella at $1600/ticket plus accommodation, food, drink and flights from East Coast (so realistically $3500-4000 each). By comparison for our 40th birthdays we rented a venue, caterers, open bar etc - attending cost nothing for our guests. In fact it cost me $4000 for a party for everyone). They absolutely should do whatever they want for their 40ths, it’s just symptomatic of our different approaches. For us it was all about celebrating with friends, for them it’s about the experience of Cochella and having a multi day drug bender.

I guess our interests are just taking us in different directions. I think we should just let nature take its course. Saying something is going to seem like a confrontation. It’s just sad for us to see the friendship wither though. ‘You cannot make old friends.’ As the saying goes.

What do you guys think? Has this happened to you? I mostly believed school/college friends drifted apart because you weren’t fully formed adults yet, but I guess it can happen even later in life.