He went to the strip club with people that I know all too well and after sending someone to investigate the truth for me, I found out he fucked a stripper.

I don’t care to be in a closed off relationship, I did it my whole twenties and regret not getting to explore things outside of my relationships.

In my ideal world, a relationship where I can explore others and make it back in time for dinner wouldn’t sound too bad, but I’d rather have a conversation that makes that consensual.

At the same time…. if cultural context is applied, an open relationship could never happen. Not in South Africa, it’s too much of an ego problem for our men.

I just don’t know what to do cause I’d rather it be an authentic and honest relationship but realistically, thats never gonna happen in this country.

Now I’m starting to wonder, does he really love me? am I moving too fast? am I using this whole situation as an excuse to push him away? I have many questions for myself and was wondering whats the best way of being honest with myself.