He's a good person. We get along very well. He had a minor indiscretion with another woman 2 years ago. It wasn't so much the cause of our problems but rather the result of them. We've been drifting apart for many years. He is pretty sedentary and generally prefers to stay home. I like to be outdoors, kayaking, hiking, etc. I'm very social and he's more self-contained.

Our sex life used to be okay, never great (at least for me), but now is non-existent. I just can't make myself feel attracted to him. At 51 I've finally decided to start listening to my body and not having sex out of a sense of duty, etc.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. He's a wonderful person and endlessly supportive of me. It's not like I expected fireworks for our entire relationship, things change as people age. I'm still very much interested in sex and exploring my sexuality, just not with him.

I'm terrified of blowing up my "nice" life, hurting him, hurting our son, etc. I'm also terrified of spending the next 30 years being polite and never having sex.

Has anyone out there managed to find a way back to feeling attracted to a partner after feeling totally disconnected?

TLDR: Sex life DOA with husband of 20 years. Any hope?