So long story short me and MM my ex had a phase of falling in love and 2 months in I dealt with some traumatic events that occurred because my dad was an alcoholic and beat my ass. I called the cops and me and my sister went to my neighbors house , MM was on the call most of the time and heard it all, I know it felt like this situation brought us closer and it did but I suffered tremendously with depression and couldn’t feel things as I use to so I escaped through lots of lots of video games and YouTube to ignore my problems . This effected MM even if she didn’t say it did I had a feeling that it did, I fell out of love about 8 months ago and I’ve been trying to rekindle it and even after getting an apartment with her it still felt draining, exhausting , depressing , I was excited for our 1 Bed room apt because I got away from my dad so I can heal properly and once that happened it felt like I was trapped in the relationship I didn’t wanna be in anymore so a few days ago I let her know how unhappy o felt in the relationship and she still wanted to make things work and it was balling my eyes out with her before work a few days ago because I knew the end was coming near , I fucked up and ranted to a girl I knew through mutuals and she saw those texts of me saying how unhappy I was In the relationship. I was paying all the bills btw. It was a lot of weight on my back. So I had to get out so I can heal myself and focus on self love instead of tarnishing my greater will of loving others properly. I’ve just been going crazy I got 5 hours of sleep total today and it’s just been a train wreck and advice on how I should deal with this?