So I will add context that I got out of a long term relationship that are showing many of the same patterns as I am seeing now. She ended up cheating when I tried to set boundaries after reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. But that is the past. My current partner (who lives in a Latin American country) , has stated she is worried about me getting with my ex (my ex's family threatened me after knowing them 8 years, no thanks), worried I am cheating (up to this point have not noticed much female attention until I started being more positive and focusing on my goals, weird, but still keeping my eyes on my partner), and asks if I love her. Many of these things are things my ex did, but with some issues I think we can work them out.
On top of this she criticized me for wanting to build an electric car (looking at it now it is cheaper to buy but in the late 2000's I remember there were many kits and thought there would be more open source technology, but outside the adorable Peel P50 /s, there is nada), was having an existential day saying how deconstructing actions in society makes people seem deterministic/act like zombies and was scary to me (was having a rough day) and she asked why was I talking about zombies (like it is a pet obsession of mine). I chalked up the last bit to culture and she did apologize forgetting on my case about putzing with building things. She also criticized my weight (I have been going through a lot emotionally such as threats to my family and life as well as lies made up about me by my ex's family. That is being resolved but I am now just getting back to normal and without my nootrooics (which I had left in a hurry after the threats and could not get to them). So because of this I picked up ba habits and she got on my case about them.
But that is not the main issue. My mom called me today and said she saw some things on my gfs fb page (I have not been online due to the threats) and she said she saw something that was against her religious sensibilities (get on line mom) on my gfs page. On that I said let it go. The other thing was my gf was posting pictures at the gym (which in and of itself is not bad), but she was doing it suggestively and doing it quite a bit. My mom also said she could see her nipples popping through the shirt (again have not been on fb so can't see them), but it kinda concerns me. Yes she can post her photos, but I know she is insecure and seeking validation (like my ex). I don't want to react just because my mom said she was concerned, but I thinking seeking attention online is a bit concerning. She also got after me about ghost chicks I added a long time ago and maybe check on their profile for memes or some political content and I don't seek it out. I don't want to base my opinion solely on my mom, but I don't want to wait until it is too late to set boundaries. I get there has been a significant cultural shift in the past 50 years, and I realize I don't control someone, but I also don't want to pile on about her going on and on about me being with other people or my ex (I am not a glutton for punishment). I know the distance probably doe snot help and I try to send her little gifts here and there and visit her, but I am concerned and don't want to blow up the house or pile all my issues I am having at once but I think my mom makes a good point. Any thoughts and Have any of you dealt with this?