Throwaway account: So me and my girlfriend have been dating since the middle of ur senior year in high school. We had known each other for four years, but never really talked. We got closer as friends and a big friend group this summer before senior year and decided to get together in the beginning the first 6 to 8 months were really great and awesome without really any fights or arguments. But the Next six months we’re just all one-sided efforts. I only started to notice the lack of effort in the relationship from her part was from her spending more time with her friends and party once she got to college. Now I know that the most of you to tell me that after college if it’s not the same school, it never ends well. But we had talked about all of that and had made boundaries on what was OK and what was definitely off-limits to do. Such as drinking and going to parties, with only the opposite gender, or without being the other present with them. For context if she wanted to go to a party, she would take me with her and if I was going somewhere, I would take her with me. One of the other reasons was because in her family alcoholism ran hard. Her mom and her grandma were alcoholics, and she had told me to keep her off substances if it felt like it was too much. She of course wanted to try some thing here and there, but only when I was present. At least that’s what I was told from her. Recently just couple months ago. Every time she wanted to do some thing and I wasn’t there for it because I live an hour from her campus she would feel left out. So she told me that she wants to do things when I’m not there. And I said OK but let’s set up some boundaries so you don’t go over your limits so we had set up a hard time before she had to come back home and that she couldn’t be with only guys that had to be at least one more girl with her. And we all agreed to this. This was her decision know if this. But the first night that she was supposed to be out partying getting drunk and coming back at 11:30 with another girl she had told the girl that she was supposed to be with to be the alibi if I asked where she was. Because she was in some other persons dorm till three in the morning, and when I found out when I visited her bye her roommate who is supposed to be with her she didn’t feel sorry whatsoever. She would never want to talk about any of the things that she did or lied to me for any got to a point where I kind of just moved on from it but I told her that if she does something again my trust in her would be gone. Slowly, she started putting more and more but I asked for updates here in there. And just recently she had completely stop talking to me for three weeks because of a very small argument we had, and went out partying almost every day. And when I told her we need to talk about things, she mentioned we go on break. Since our issues lied with communication, a break would be the best choice and therefore I told her that. And she agreed for the time being. Two days after we had that talk I was supposed to go out of state for the summer for about a month couple days into my trip. I get a text saying we need to talk and I called her later that night and she told me she wanted to go on that break again This time though, I didn’t really fight it. Once I got back from the trip a month later I texted her hey when are we getting back and meeting up to talk about our relationship and how we’re going to resolve everything. But that text and effort went useless because she never text me for two weeks straight. Since we had the same friend group for a long time, I was holding a small movie night and sleep over. And when the talk of us came, my friends told me that she had told them that we were already broken up. I was shocked and told them that that was the first that I was hearing of that. And they didn’t seem shocked to see that she hadn’t even told me. They also told me that she said that I was being controlling of her drinking and partying. My friends told me that she really believed that I was being controlling over her choices. this really got to me so I gave her necklace that I used to wear to the Friend to go deliver it to her. Shortly after he gave it back to her I got a message, saying that the year, and some more that we spent together was the best thing to ever happen to her and I was always loving and caring, and that I had become her lifeline during the roughest moments of your life. I also got told by her that our time apart was in no way, my fault in only because she lost sight of herself. At this point I was thinking she is pulling the “ it’s not you it’s me” card. And I was very much confused on why she had told everyone that I was being controlling and never mention to talk to me about it while you’re still in the relationship. And now she’s telling me that that none of it was my fault. I sent her one last text saying if she still wanted to talk through things and figure things out just let me know and I have 1 million questions but I need answers to few just to see if we still stand a chance. And told her that if she wanted us to work, she would really need to show it. But then again, I got left on delivered once again. Two days later, she calls me and asked me to come hang out with her and one of the other friends. I went in hopes that we were going to be talking to each other after the hang out but as soon as the other friends left, she also decided to leave. She had told everyone in the group chat to come to a firework show for the Fourth of July, which was yesterday. In this included me but I texted her saying if she’s not willing to talk to me about what has happened. I cannot see her anymore as I need space. Now I have no truth to go with what has happened. I have no way of knowing what her emotions were or are. If our time together meant anything to her or not. If the endless things that I did buy going out of my way for her meant anything to her or not. I have no reassurance from this break up to get over it. Honestly I’m just really lost right now. And I love this girl more than anything I have ever loved before. And I keep trying to see if I can save any of this. But I just can’t convince myself to just stop. And I don’t know what to do anymore. What should I do?? How do I save what we had? Is it worth saving?