Sexless Marriage

Hello everyone! I am a female (35) and my husband is (34). We have been together for 10 years and married for 8 and in the last 5 years we have not had sex at all. My husband was a virgin when we started dating (me not so much) and he has always had pretty bad sexual performance anxiety.. even on our wedding night he couldn’t perform.. about 9 years ago he started seeing our church pastor and he was able to perform (for about 2 years) we ended up severing ties with the church (unrelated reasons) and eventually his anxiety came back. We have not had traditional sex since 2017-2018 and it’s driving me crazy. We do have oral but for me it’s not the same. We even tried viagra but I didn’t work. I have begged him to look into more counseling and he always say he will do it but he doesn’t fall through and I think he is fine with the way everything is…. I even asked him if he is ok with an open marriage but he was not fond of it (he is quite jealous) everything else in our marriage is great except this one thing… he is really my best friend, loving person, and sweet… but I get so frustrated and it makes me feel undesired in that way….he is always hard whenever we are around each other or I am naked BUT as soon as he thinks he has to stick it in his penis goes limp… it makes me feel like shit and less of a woman to be honest. Part of me wants to cheat since the only thing I am missing is sex. And advice? Part of me feel like I should just live with being practically celibate for the rest of my life