Hey, so the title is kind of vague (my apologies). To start I have a tendency to ask questions about doing somthing together or seperate and sometimes the questions can seem loaded, or manipulative (though I'm asking in good faith) to get specific about the type of question I'm asking. I'm planning on visiting my partner and my family this weekend. However instead of leaving Friday, I want to leave Sunday to spend a Saturday at a cook out my friend is hosting. I've found, and have felt myself in the past that asking "is it okay if I go to this event or would you rather I come see you?" Can feel loaded, or like I'm putting in this awkward position. Is there a more tactful way to ask that kind of question? Personally. I don't mind missing the cookout and getting home sooner. (Somthing I will let her know). She has plans and is hosting some out of town friends so we may not see eachother when I get home and if we do it'd only be for a couple hours, though we have plans after they leave at the end of the weekend for me to spend the week with her.

I hope this wasn't all over the place. I'll clarify if I can.