So my s/o wants me to agree to having very specific boundaries with friends (no matter the length of the friendship) concerning affection. So no hand holding, long hugs, putting my arm around them, platonic cuddling, kisses (platonic) or touching each others hair (like in the soothing way that you rub someone’s head), and some other rules I can’t remember.

Some of these seem reasonable, but if I am out walking maybe I would grab my friends hand or rub their head, or put my arm around them, in a platonic way, and not that I do that often but I wouldn’t want to restrict myself in how I connect with close friends, especially long term friends who I already have a pattern of behavior with.

Also I feel like if my friend knows I’m in a committed relationship and I know that holding my friends hand is not romantic then I don’t see how that is a threat to my relationship.

Would it be unreasonable for my to disagree with some of these rules that my partner brought up? Or is this to be expected in most monogamous relationships?

I don’t think we want or need to be polyamorous anytime soon but my s/o seems to think that if I don’t agree to those terms then maybe I am not able to be monogamous. But I don’t feel like that is true.

I really love them, but them suggesting those rules just don’t make me feel good. I feel like different couples do things differently and me wanting to hold my friends hands occasionally or sit closely with them don’t make me not monogamous? Or am I wrong?

This all comes after an incident where we are hanging out and they saw a friend and I doing one of the aforementioned platonic displays of affection (not kissing btw) and they got upset, which is why they suggested the rules.

I feel like these rules indicate bigger issues.

TL;DR My partner says I can’t hold my friends hands platonically, but I don’t agree, what should I do?

We have been together for 9 months