I'm horrible at getting my thoughts in order so I apologize if this doesn't make sense. I met my boyfriend over 2 years ago and we are in a now very stable relationship. I am in my senior year of college and have my own place with roommates, but I practically live with him. He has a stable job in finance and I just got a job for after college in the same city as him so the natural next step is for us to move in together after I graduate.

There should not be any reason for me not to, but I am having reservations. While our relationship is stable now, he is extremely jealous and caused many issues early on in our relationship that I think are still causing baggage for me now. The first year of us dating, he would ignore me and threaten to break up with me every time one of us was on a trip and we were apart. He left me feeling very insecurely attached because I felt that I could lose him at any time. I think that because I felt so insecure, I latched on to him even more in fear of losing him when I should have walked away.

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The only way he wants to hang out is if I go to his place- I can get him to come to my place maybe once every 2 weeks, but it is like pulling teeth. At the beginning of our relationship, I basically isolated myself completely from my friends because the only way I could see him was if I went to his place and I would be away from mine for weeks at a time and my roommates and friends would never see me. I have finally gotten better and making sure to prioritize my friends now and spend time at home, but he would still rather that I am always at his place. If i'm not going to his place, I have to have an excuse as to why I need to be home or he will be upset. I feel that I lost my last 2 and a half years of college because of him. Even though I spend all of my time with him, he thinks it is not enough and argues when I make plans with friends. It is important to note that he does not have many friends, he moved from out of state for his job and only works with older people so never made many close friends. Becuase of this, I always feel guilty going and hanigng out with mine because he feels left out and lonely.

He never wants me to go out and I can probably count on 2 fingers how many times I have gone out since meeting him. If I do go out, he wants to come even though he doesn't enjoy it and makes it not fun.

All of these things are major red flags that I should have seen very early on in the relationship and not continued, but I did because I did not want to lose him. He is a very sweet, generous, loving person and is very kind to me. However, I have never been able to get past his jealousy issues which lead to him being controlling and isolating me from my friends the past 2 years.

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Now, I have less than a month left of college and he has finally recognized that he has been controlling of me and finally sees it from an outside perspective that he has taken all of my time from my friends and that it is unfair to me. It feels like we are at a weird pinnacle because I am about to graduate and all my friends are moving away, so these problems will not be as prevalent anymore because I will not really have anyone to hang out with other than him. I just wish that I had advocated for myself years ago when we first met because now I cannot get that time back with my friends, and I have to decide if I want to still be with him or not. I love him, but being with him made me lose myself.

Now, I will have more time to find myself with or without him when i'm done with college and I have to decide which. He really is a good, guy- my whole family loves and respects him, but I don't want to resent him forever for everything that he took away from me by being with him. If we break up, I will be starting a full time job and live completely alone with almost no friends and so will he. I don't want that for either of us, but I am feeling so much resentment towards him. I never should have had to choose between him and having friends and a college experience.

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Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what would you do? This was so long, if anyone reads it I will be so grateful. I feel so lost.