Some time ago we were laying in bed and he joked about marrying me and I laughed saying "I don't wanna marry you" but from the tone of my voice it was obvious it was a joke. I'm young, and we know each other only for 5 months, so I'm not saying I 100% would or wouldn't marry him. You get what I mean, it's too early to judge, maybe time will show I could see him as my husband.

But what hurt me, he was so quick to then turn serious and start saying how I'm too jealous. My jealousy comes from my BPD, but once a man shows me he cares about me I'll start therapy, so what I mean is it's fixable and he's already negative about seeing me as possible wife material.

I took care of him when he was sick and he said it was surprising how caring I was, however I don't think it changed his mind.

Should I tell him that once I find someone who's serious about being with me, I'll put more effort into controlling my jealousy? I don't want to make him think I'm desperate to prove it though. I want him to notice this on his own.