So I (18F) recently got back into dating after a 4 year long toxic relationship. I am truly over it and feel completely ready to move on. I had gotten on dating apps a few months after, but nothing really clicked, or I got ghosted/dry conversation.

One girl replied earnestly, however. (19F) She was the only person thus far who went beyond surface level conversation, so I latched quite quickly. After 2 months of talking, she got drunk one night and told me she loved me. I feel like I lost any spark I had for her then. I realized how many flags I was ignoring.

Being overly s*xual despite me stating I was on the ace spectrum off the bat, and us having very different aspirations for life. She simply wants to work to live and be stable. No aspirations for college, mainly just video games. We still have wonderful, intellectual conversation, but I don’t feel attracted to her romantically. I would like to be her friend. But she is incredibly attached and has expressed how she is often ghosted or previous poor dating experiences. Meanwhile, we’ve been talking every day.

I should also mention I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have expressed this to her. It is very difficult for me to avoid splitting and not lose interest quickly, which I have told her. She has been relatively understanding, though had a lot of misconceptions about BPD.

I feel incredibly guilty as I know I have likely led her on in an attempt to be nice and ping-ponging between “we haven’t even met in person yet, I have to give her a chance.” And knowing she is already far too attached while I still have doubts. I like her, truly, but I feel I just wouldn’t be happy.

So, Reddit, how do I let someone who is infatuated down easily?