Long story short, I had a friend and her husband rent from me/be my room mates, along with their two kids. Within the first month the husband killed himself, the husband's friend cussed out my friend and had the police called on her, her daughter tried to best up her mom and police got called. Fast forward and they can't pay rent so I was getting rent from charity and I was still trying to work with them until they could move out. She then tried to blackmail me for sexting my new wife with the volume off and the water on in the restroom and call me a pervert and called the place uninhabitable (despite going through the law and seeing no such issue from the law). To make matters worse she threatened to kill me and my family and make my death look like a suicide. Long story short I am going to get a restraining and going to evict her.

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Putting aside the legal side and getting her out, how do I learn to trust again and balance out someone being quirky vs being truly mentally ill/dangerous? I had known her 8 years and realized her kids fought a lot and she did get mad at lovers, but the only thing I could think of is referring to herself as the character from a movie (who was a strong woman) and talking to her husband. I knew she could bullshit, but I never noticed her bleed into blackmail/threats. I have noticed she seemed to get randomly pissed and accuse people of not helping her because they were racist or whatever but until it happened several times I wrote it off as maybe just not getting where she is coming from. Now I am reevalutating how I choose friends or if I even want to have new friends. The only other thing is how her (older) kids acted. Suffice to say my ex was not ideal, but has only gone downhill in my opinion. Her sister is psycho and hit bfs and forged signatures, amongst other things. The other older sister is calm, but her bf is a drug dealer, but again still relatively nice. Should I judge someone based off their kids/family ? That is the only thing I can see. It seemed like you can be a shitty parent but a nice person, but maybe that is not the case. I felt like there was a serious breach in my armor and want to see if there is any red flags? Outside normal disagreements I am not sure if I could have done anything different, except not be as nice of a person. I try to judge people as an individual, but it seems like a birds of a feather flock together.