Hi. I'm really spiraling and I have no one to talk to

I hooked up with a guy last night and when I told my boyfriend I was meeting up with a boy from grindr I assumed he knew because I had also been talking about wanting to hook up with someone. My boyfriend has a few other partners but I dont do anything outside of our relationship

I messed up he is like really hurt I didn't explicitly tell him I planned to hook up with the guy. Like I didnt necessarily have plans to, we went to an event and I didn't really know the guy so idk what would happen

Also I did oral on him and I didn't know that I should have used a condom for that. We didn't actually have sex

My boyfriend is like really angry with me and I have no idea what to do. Like I know I messed up and I should have known better, like there is no excuse for me as an adult to not know the risk of stds

Like. Its just awful. He's so angry and there's nothing I can do. When we talked on the phone earlier he was saying he wanted to hook up with his ex and i feel like he's doing it to hurt me because he knows it will hurt me. But I cant say that

Tl;dr I just really don't know what to do. Nothing i can say can make it better. I told him I just won't hook up with people but that just pushed the fact that I'm irresponsible and selfish and don't care about him