I'm exhausted.
I have a very demanding job that requires I work 12 hour days, for 3-4 months a year. That time is right now.

We don't have a dishwasher, and for over a year, because I am the one who meal plans, preps the meal and cooks, I have asked my husband to please do the dishes, that night, so the next day it's easier for me to get dinner ready and so I can spend my one hour that I have alone, watering my plants in the sink.

I've explained to him that when he doesn't do this it adds an extra hour on to the dinner prep because I have to wait for the dishes to be done; that when he doesn't do it, I can't water my plants and have to spend the only 60 minutes I have truly to myself in the entire day, doing chores; that when he doesn't do this the entire condo smells like dinner from the night before and I hate it; that I find this behavior slovenly and he can just choose to spend 20 minutes to do it and I don't understand why he doesn't.

This week has been particularly hard. I have been too tired to cook and am in bed by 730pm. I've told my husband that I'm too tired to cook, too tired to do anything and that I'm deeply depressed. Tuesday night he did the dishes at night, I thanked him and told him how much it meant to me. Last night he begged me to make dinner instead of going out, so I did, for an hour and this morning I walked into a kitchen that wasn't cleaned up. Again.

So now I'm sitting at work thinking about how my husband, who is a grown ass man, would rather play videogames than spend 20 minutes helping me. I'm devastated and don't even want to go home. I love my husband, I know he loves me, I don't know how else I can explain to him in an impactful and meaningful way. I told him on Monday I was getting resentful, with that word. I'm just so done, I'm going to stop paying for the internet.