I'm sitting here completely in disbelief. A bit of shock, and unfortunately I saw things coming a mile away..but I still can't believe it.

A year ago I finally removed myself from a horribly manipulative and abusive relationship. There were a lot of red flags, I hid things, I lied to those close to me, and I shoved everything good away as I fell under the grips of manipulation and narcissistic love-bombing.

In the past year, I've gone through immense amounts of personal growth, healing, and have spent the time to process what I've needed for my mental health. I wholeheartedly feel I am in a better position and have been doing phenomenally this year.

End of July - I ended up meeting someone (Who lives 5 hours away from me) in Raleigh at a concert. We sort of hit it off, traded numbers, and started talking.

She told me about her recent breakup, and that she can't rush into anything. Which I understood. He had broken up with her, wanting to be in an open-relationship (she wanted monogamy)..So he left the door wide open. He's a manipulative narcissist.

We made plans over a month out, kept talking and eventually saw each other for an incredible 4 days up around her. I drove out a few weeks later, then she came down. We eventually saw each other every 3 weeks or so including thanksgiving, christmas, and new years.

FF to 10/31. We just spent the weekend together, we've been healthily communicating and things have been going incredible. We officially start dating, our friends and family are ecstatic. People love both of us on both sides.

A few weeks later, her manipulative, narcissistic, egotistical ex (who everyone in her life despises, and thinks he's shady, distrustful, etc) found a way back in. He had broken up with her initially, and is at the moment (and probably the past month) has been completely dismantling and dismembering her mental health. I've been witnessing the trainwreck in real time, slowly. I've been seeing more and more behavior of someone actively being abused. He's been fueling her with drugs, alcohol, and lies.

She was in a full on mental breakdown yesterday, has been at her exes a few days, nobody in her life has known.

Things came to a head, I did something I shouldn't have and contacted the ex (purely from a standpoint of if you care about her or her mental health at all, to leave her alone). He tried gaslighting me and I could see he's a grimy, manipulative POS. Which, in turn led to me proving to her that he's lying to her.

She's been mentioning needing mental health help, including therapy and that she's spiraling and feeling like she's failing everyone around her. Obviously the ex has been contributing.

I've contacted her mother and her best friend. Her support network now knows, and the people in her life who have to be there for her are involved. I can do no more than I already have, and I won't be able to make anything better in this scenario.

It's brutal seeing someone you care deeply about fall into the grips of a manipulative narcissist. I know her actions and what she has done are of her own volition, I also know where I've been, how I've acted, and the depths I've gone down in the same position under the guise of love under manipulation.

For my own sake and mental health, I'm backing away entirely and no longer enabling anything.

I can't watch it happen any longer.

What sucks, is that throughout all of this I can't but help and think that if she actually does get therapy, goes through the proper stages of processing and is able to heal and get through the cycle..through some of her past trauma, that maybe there is actually a possibility for a future with us. I understand her behavior lately has been 100% different than the person I've spent 6 months getting to know purely through communication and the people around her. EVERYONE around her loves her. She's an absolute shining light and is not like anyone I've ever met. Everyone in her life hates the ex and has witnessed him do this before. She finally broke free and unfortunately us meeting meant she had zero time to process or move on.

What would any of you do? How would you handle this? I think I'm going about it in the right way, but it's fucking difficult. Would you even leave that door open if someone properly addresses this? Would you run? Would you stay connected but distant and non-responsive? Remain friends but completely cut off?

If she doesn't get the help, she's obviously not the person I'd want to be with. If she does and she actively works on things....ehhhh, idk.