My wife of 6 years, left me for another woman and moved across country and now I hate being alone. My wife and I moved to Texas at the end of 2021, I was working and she was a stay at home wife. After a few months of being in Texas she asked if we could try a polyamorous relationship, with another female. I said that was fine because I was secure in our relationship and as long as it wasn’t another man I didn’t really care, tbh in the back of my mind I thought it would create more excitement in the bedroom for everyone involved. She found someone local and things seemed to be going fine. She had her person but would normally always be home with me at night. Over the next couple months she would stay the night, then multiple nights. Then I started feeling uncomfortable and not enjoying it. Especially because her gf would never come around me. She would just take my wife away and I wouldn’t see her for days. Around Christmas time, we started arguing about our relationship and she felt I wasn’t doing the things she wanted from me. Some were understandable, some felt like she wanted to change who I was. I attempted to change the things I was comfortable changing and at times felt like I was changing who I was. But it never felt like she appreciated it. One date night we go out to a movie and she goes to the bathroom for a long time. Then we go home and I felt uneasy and looked through her phone while she slept and time stamps were when we were at the movie they were talking about how she didn’t love me and how to leave me. It hurt and I confronted her about it next day. She brushed it off and blamed me for going through her phone. I keep trying to save my marriage and she keeps acting like she wants to save it because her gf had plans to move to DC a few weeks later and she didn’t want to go with her. I spend the next couple weeks trying to be on my best behavior and show her I can be better. Then we spend her birthday and Valentine’s Day trying to show her the best time possible, but she seems distant. She asks to go to her gfs house and I felt betrayed. I drop her off after arguing the entire time, she gets out and I felt like she was leaving forever and I beg her not to go. She says she just needs space to think. She stays their for 2 weeks. She comes home after 2 weeks, her gfs moving day. She acts like everything is normal and I feel like I have my wife back. She stays for 5 days then has her mom come get her from Oklahoma. Then she flys to DC and I haven’t seen her since.

Now almost a year later, I have massive abandonment issues making me hate being alone. I work as many hours as possible so I don’t have to sit in my apartment alone. I constantly check FB and IG hoping their will be something from her wanting to come back. I can’t force myself to go file divorce. It sucks and I’m just using this to vent to hopefully help me feel better..