I’m a 17F (2 months from 18) with a pretty good record the past few years, with a BPDmom & NPDdad. My mother has an obsession with me and trying to get my love, but is being a bit more respectful of my boundaries lately.

I flew up to Idaho to see my cousins (19F, 22F) for a week with the plan to drive back down to where I live with one of them who’s moving down there.

There was miscommunication and I arrived a month early, but they wanted me to stay & I wanted to break from my house and all the stress. Day 2 we called up my mother and explained the situation since it was too late to tell her on day 1 (thanks to time zones).

I said I’d already be up there a week since I flew up, and with the one-way tickets being 500$ it’d be great if I could stay up there for a couple weeks till we could drive down (instead of flying BACK up later on and having to buy a return ticket for this trip).

She said “Let me talk with your father, and we will get back to you tomorrow.”

11 minutes later she calls me up and says she’s not ok with it. I ask why, she avoids the question and states I have two appointments (that are already getting cancelled), and work (that I inform her I’ve already asked for enough time off for). Is this normal? Do non BPDparents let their kids stay with family or friends for extended times? Do non BPDparents trust their kids with anything? It’s feels ridiculous and frustrating.

My cousins suggest that she’s using me as a source of stability and needs me around. I don’t know if this is necessarily true or what it’d look like if it was.