Baby Poly here

TLDR: 2 girls asked me not to talk about the other one and I understand so I haven't but I feel like a cheater hiding something and I hate it.

The quick rundown is I broke up with my ex A who was pushing for us to be Poly. The idea was appealing but I told her I needed time to open it up. So we broke up

Now I started seeing a new girl B who is actually Poly and we're getting serious. She's helped me deal with the heartbreak and talked about the ex with me but she understandably gets jealous. I've told B I don't want to put all that on her but she insists on being here for me. Now B is out of town and has told me to do whatever I want, only to tell her if I have sex with someone. She's also explicitly told me not to tell her about dates. Only if I have sex (for health reasons)

Well.. I'm seeing my ex A tonight and haven't told B because no sex has happened yet but I did tell B I was busy tonight and wouldn't be able to call or really text. Now she's pushing a bit to know my plans and I feel bad for hiding details. Of course I'll tell her if sex happens but it would be after the fact

A the ex knows about B. She doesn't know the seriousness because she explicitly asked me not to talk about B.

I hate cheating, been cheated on many times and I have this weird feeling that I'm complying with everyone's wishes but that it will still end up hurting everybody

What are your thoughts? Is this feeling a normal one that I have to go through? I feel like I've been a people pleaser warming on eggshells and now I'm learning to prioritize myself. Should I not respect their wishes and tell them "I'm not comfortable with hiding my life so let me be clear : I'm seeing the other girl and it's going great and towards seriousness / I'm planning on sleeping with the other girl this weekend"

The very last thing I want is to hurt anyone but I feel like hurt feelings are mandatory with budding Poly relationships