Hi everyone,

My husband (38 cis-M) and I (34 cis-F) decided about 2 months ago to start exploring being ENM. This was brought up by him a few years ago, and at the time I was not ready for it. Over the summer I drunkenly joked about it, and we began to discuss before pulling the trigger. At first we would agree to go on dates and hook up if one of us was traveling for work, but since I am the only one that travels and go a few months without travel, we decided together to start seeing people local to us.

He went on a few dates with one woman that went nowhere. For me I have been on a couple of dates with sex involved, including one on a work trip, and have been communicating via text and video with one other man I haven't met yet. This has spiced up our relationship and I feel made us closer.

As the weeks have gone on and he continues to not be able to meet anyone, all of the sudden rules and discussions we agreed on are being changed on his end. He has started to look for other poly couples to meet, but wants to handle the communication, and as we approach a month of this, we still have not met another couple yet. When he decided to look for other couples for swinging, he and I discussed and I told him while I wasn't 100% comfortable with swinging, I would be willing to try, but I would continue to meet others and go on dates, which he agreed to, stating he would do the same.

This afternoon I was asked out on a date by another poly man, and informed my husband of it to make sure he was still comfortable. He said he was not as this was only for when one of us travels for work and he felt I was neglecting him. I have not gone on a date since my last work trip 3 weeks ago. On top of this I feel that he is going against what we had agreed on. If he didn't want this I wouldn't have gone for it.

The thing is I am poly. I can have multiple emotional relationships with someone. The last couple of months has awakened that in me, and I don't want to put it away. I feel that my husband is jealous and feeling left out.

For those of you that have been poly/ENM for awhile and are married or in long term relationships -- how did you navigate situations like this? Should we pause for a few weeks, let the dust settle, and then start back at square one? My concern there is he will really want to restrict when we can go out and see someone, and I do not want that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.