This is a long one/rant so please bear with me. So myself (33M), he/him, my partner of 4 months (24 preop FtM) J, he/him/they and my meta (31MtF), she/her, Meta is a complete submissive to J, recently returned from a trip to Texas to celebrate J’s nephews birthday, and to introduce myself to some of J’s family, that lived down there. J is 15 weeks pregnant with unexpected, but not unwanted triplets that are mine. J Is also neurodivergent with RAD, Autism and ADHD, and has a PTSD from a domestic violence situation they were in with their ex-husband. I myself suffer from ADHD. We drove the 22 hours to Texas instead of flying as my partner and meta both like road-tripping, and I didn’t mind being the secondary driver as meta cannot drive. When we entered Texas it was the day of the party at about 7am local time. We still had goodie bags to assemble, and other assorted items that we couldn’t bring in the vehicle that was loaded with supplies and gifts for the birthday boy. Shit starting going down hill when myself and meta were asked to retrieve some bows that J had made for his Niece there were two boxes of bows. Meta was in charge of packing the vehicle and I assisted with it. The second box of bows did not make the journey to Texas for one reason or another. This set J off something fierce and both of us got yelled at, admittedly meta was the one who took the brunt of this.

Later that morning J went to a local supercenter to grab more stuff for the goodie bags and party, and asked me to assemble the goodie bags. They had to go together in a specific way. I was given a diagram to show how J wanted them assembled. As I began the process I ended up switching the order of two items in the bag. I will fully admit that I deviated from the diagram. I had been up since at least midnight at this point having driven for 3-4 hours and remained awake for the rest of the journey inside of Texas to our destination. I was getting frustrated that the objects were not going into the bag as easily as they should have swapped two items around to make it easier on myself. Since some goodie bags were already completed, this made the rest of them different and set J off again when he returned from the supercenter and found out. I was chastised and berated for not being able to follow a simple diagram. In front of everybody at the place we were staying. Later me and J were outside and talking and I told him that I would get the veggie tray that they forgot at the store and the crackers along with the pizza’s that were already paid for after we got everything to the park and unloaded.

1:30 rolls around and it’s only 30 mins till we need to be there. I don’t know where I’m going as I don’t know the area. J is riding in a different vehicle and meta is riding with me. We get to the park and unload, and I have about 10 mins before I need to have all of this other stuff picked up and brought to the park that still needed to be acquired. Fortunately the pizza retrieval was removed from my plate before I went to grab the other stuff. I get to the local Walmart neighborhood market, get the veggie tray and cracker and discover they don’t have a helium tank, i prepare to head to the supercenter and grab the rest of what I need when it’s discovered that the bag of decorations that were originally in the car but I was asked to bring inside the house and I handed to J which then made its way back outside the vehicle but not inside of it, was not at the party. I knew it wasn’t in the vehicle I had said as much I told other group members that J had it last. I still get berated, via text, for not remembering it, because I had one job. As I am on my way to the supercenter, which is just down the road, I get a phone call from J where he is yelling at me and saying that this is clearly Weaponized incompetence, which is one of the things they said their ex husband would do in an attempt to ruin their kids birth day parties. That I need to get back there and that he’ll do it himself. At this point I am frustrated that all my running around that I have been doing is for nought.

I return, without the helium tank or any of the other things that were added while I was out. Hand them the keys and end up spending the rest of the party rather miserable and distant from the group, since I feel like shit for feeling like I failed him. Later during the day after the party, and we have returned to where we are staying, myself and J begin to talk for a bit, he’s calmed down significantly from earlier and is in a much better mood, than before. It could be because he actually calmed down a bit or because the people we were with let him have some amount of wine. I don’t know, and yes, I’m pissed that they were drinking while pregnant. Even if your OBGYN says a glass of wine per month is okay, it has been generally accepted that you don’t drink while pregnant and that you don’t give a recovering alcoholic wine either. But either way, they explain that their attitude today was due to being overstimulated from the driving, there was quite a bit of traffic coming into Texas that morning, and not having things go to plan. It felt like we had worked out what was wrong and where we stood on these issues. The two of us retired to one of the tents we set up in the back yard and meta went to the other one.

The next day ended up being a lazy day and nothing really got done during it until later in the evening, I was playing with his niece and nephew, pushing them on the swing set in the backyard before I get called inside and ambushed about personal information about myself and my comfort level with my own body. My meta is a cuck and had reveals to J’s cousin that I don’t want to be watched while I’m having sex and information about the size of my penis and what it does to J, I was so mad about this that I almost retaliated with private information about meta but decided not to. Later that night Myself, J and Meta had a chat and it was revealed the Meta was not happy because she was not being cucked, which was the primary reason she got into poly was to be cucked. I had told J previously that I was willing to build up to it. Since it was something that I was not used to participating in. Meta did apologize for revealing the information. J slept with meta that night, which didn’t really bother me since he and said she was feeling depressed.

The next day goes by and it’s rather uneventful, with J sleeping with Meta once again because He wanted to get the agreed upon number of days the meta and J would sleep together out of the way. I was upset by this, but I understood it as well, despite not being made to feel like a priority for them on this trip, sure it was mostly about the birthday party and meeting his family. I still felt hurt by it. The next day we begin our travel back home, and after a couple of hours of driving I get banned from driving because I am braking too hard with the vehicle. I later find out that he has been intentionally distancing himself after the first night of the trip and that I am loosing him. That I acted exactly like their ex husband would. This forces our trip to be longer than needed, and I do get to drive again the next day. We return to home at about 2:30 in the morning where I am told I need to go back to my house, despite me having lived with him and having called their place home for a little over a month at this point. This devastated me, as I was being compared to their ex-husband having been told that I am being emotionally and mentally abusive. That when I had issues previously with supposed abuse, that it just changed to something different. I try to argue it, and I do breakdown and cry in front of them for the second time after hearing these accusations. Eventually I do go back to my apartment as I was reassured that it wasn’t a breakup that he needed time to think.

Next day rolls around and I give them the standard good morning greeting text I have every day that I hadn’t slept over at their house. We have an even flow of conversation until I get told that they are gonna move to Texas, and that I’m not coming with him, he’s gonna do it alone. I’m once again devastated by this revelation as I wasn’t even asked for input on this, and we were previously talking about how we were going to move in together. Later that day I am told that he is bleeding badly and cramping, that he is likely to be miscarrying the triplets, and that I shouldn’t come around for a couple of days as there has been too much stress. Between being told to leave him alone and meta saying that I shouldn’t come around I elected not to go be with J when I was told about the cramping and bleeding. Then today I discover that meta intentionally revealed my private information in Texas and has been making mean comments on purpose. My apparently now ex-partner, is thinking about whether he really wants to be in an abusive relationship again as per his therapists recommendation. And I’m sitting here angry, confused and so very afraid that the triplets that I was so excited to be a father to could be gone forever. That my relationship with him is possibly over.