Please don’t come at me too harshly as I am still kind of new to polyamory so I understand that there are mindsets that I still need to work on deconstructing. I just want to see if others relate.

I consider myself somewhat demisexual. It is more rare for me to experience attraction. So when I do, I really put a lot of myself into that person because it feels special to me. It also means sometimes I become overwhelmed by dating because I more often than not don’t feel attraction and it causes me to not even have the desire to put in the effort to find others that I can be attracted to. I will find myself settling into the existing partnership bc I already found attraction here.

My partner on the other hand, is very not demi. She can experience attraction very easily and can connect with a lot of people.

I have been pondering on what I feel about this to see if I can identify the root. I think it is a bit of insecurity due to feeling like my connection to her is more special than her connection to me, hence my brain has made the connection that I might be more replaceable. It will be harder for me to find another connection, whereas I know she won’t have trouble. There is a bit of feeling a lack of security in that. Where she gets a feeling of security with me in knowing that I am attracted to her and will have trouble finding it in another. I guess I am a bit jealous that she gets to feel more secure in me than I do with her?

I just want to clarify that I do not blame her at all. She is quite amazing and I am willing to work through my feelings to make sure we are both fulfilled. I guess I just wanted to process these feelings in writing and see if I can get some perspective from others who might be in a similar position. Also for context we are both women late 20s