I’m curious to read about how other polycules handle scheduling and informing nesting partners when their other partners will be at their house. If you have a nesting partner, how do the two of you let the other know when one of your other partners will be at the house (sleepover or just for the day/evening)? Do you let your nesting partner know in advance or not?

My current situation: This is how my NP and I handle it, but I’m curious other’s situations, as my nesting partner has recently brought up issues with what we do, but doesn’t have any suggestions for how to do things differently. My NP and I agreed to text each other when we know another partner will be coming to the house, as soon as we confirm they are coming. Then we add it to our shared calendar. I feel it’s common courtesy, when living with someone else, to let the other adult living in the household know when someone else will be at the home for courtesy purposes. Neither of us had ever said the other can’t have another partner over, so it isn’t asking permission, it’s simply the knowledge that when we get home, someone not always there will be there. My NP has voiced that they don’t understand why we need to let each other know someone else will be at the house, especially if it’s a last minute decision. My NP also voiced that if I already have plans on the calendar and I’m not planning to be home anyhow, they shouldn’t need to tell me their other partners will be at the house. I would still prefer a quick text letting me know and for it to go on the calendar so I don’t forget. Plans change sometimes and I may end up being home unexpectedly and would like to be able to check the calendar and see that my meta will be at the house when I get home.

I’d like to hear how others handle this and thoughts and opinions on adjustments we can make.