So my current situation is like a Z. M is top left with their nesting partner A who is top right, my partner R is bottom left and I am bottom right. A and I don’t see eye to eye, A absolutely refuses to get a long with me and even tells R to not be with me. A blows up every time R and I spend time together to the point where R doesn’t tell them anymore to try and keep the peace. This however has started bleeding into our time together where R becomes focussed on texting A a lot through our time together as to not appear busy and keep the lie up. R knows this isn’t fair to me and doesn’t know what to do. R feels like they’re being pulled in two different directions, that they just wish they could split themselves into two people and just wants everyone to be happy and no drama.

R has explained to A multiple times that I’m willing to talk, willing to put aside our problems and the incident that they caused recently in order to make life easier for everyone involved but they just refuse to budge on the matter.

I don’t want R’s and I’s relationship to have to feel like a secret all the time. Like this is our relationship but the way A is acting it’s like it’s theirs as well and R has told A that is it not. That we are together by our own choice.

Any advice is welcome. Should R strictly move to a DADT with A? If so how do you do that without the ramifications bleeding into our relationship like how I was saying R being on the phone with A texting while we’re together pretending to not be busy so a fight doesn’t happen. I’m pretty patient but I honestly don’t know when to draw the line with waiting for A to get over themselves.