My partner R was originally suppose to come home tonight from their visit with their partner A. I had texted them around 6 this evening asking what time they plan on coming home just so I’m in the loop and for safety as well. Three hours go by and R tells me they don’t know if it’ll be tonight now or tomorrow morning because they’ve had a rough visit and would like at least one night being good.

My reaction was of obvious disappointment and sadness because I had plans I wanted to do with them once they got home (obviously feel like i set myself up for disappointment and such as I never stated what I wanted up until now) and they immediately said that they would come home. I said no I want you to want to, not because you’re scared of disappointing me. I very much don’t want to tell R what to do and such and said do what you think is right. They said they weren’t sure what they really wanted.

It’s coming up to another three hour mark without hearing anything. I’m pretty upset because I feel like a decision like this I should be told as promptly as possible. And it’s safe to assume that R will in fact be staying another night with A.

Is it okay to be upset and hurt over this? Whatever they’re decision would have been I would have respected it, I think what hurts most is not having been consulted with this before hand because I very much feel like they decided to stay even way before mentioning it to me. Like if they had said “how would you feel if I talked with A about staying until tomorrow morning?” I feel like I would have felt a million times better about this and felt like my thoughts and feelings were being valued if that makes sense?

Anyways sorry for another very long post. I don’t really have other resources to talk about such things with. I appreciate all the input everyone has given me this far with my posts.