Hey Community,

New poly gay male here. Me and my primary have been married for a decade, open for a year, and poly for 3 years— 14 years total.

What is it called when you feel a little bit of “you can do better than that” about one of your partner’s partners? It’s not jealousy. It’s not resentment. I feel like if I don’t find that person attractive, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and by proxy, I feel like my partner finds me at his other person’s level which I perceive as low— and I find myself a catch!

EDIT: So it seems I’m an egotistical, snobby, jerk. Thanks, y’all. My goal is talk to my primary partner about it or even my therapist and I’m struggling to find the words. I’m still pretty new to this.