Hey guys,

Me and my boyfriend have an open relationship. I initiated it right from the start when we started dating, and it's been great. I Iike all the reasons why, like not owning someone, people having fun each other in a free way, being honest and open, having different people for different activities, etc.

Recently I noticed him talking a lot about another girl, contacting her a lot and I suddenly felt this intense fear, made me think unreasonable thoughts, questioning everything, scared and alone. I didn't expect this from myself, but there it is. We've talked about it, he reassured me, but I can't stop thinking about it. It made fears and insecurities resurface that I thought were gone, and made me realise my issues with abandonment are really still a thing.

I was wondering if there are people here who have the same issues and are still practicing polyamoury/open relationships, and if you have any advice? Articles to read, maybe some excercises or something? Idk.

I've had one open relationship before and that ended very badly, a girl wanted my ex-boyfriend for herself and it was a big shitshow where I got left behind and spiraled in a real bad place back then, about 6 years ago. It started with a lot of online contact as well, so I think this might have triggered something that I thought was not a big deal anymore.

I want to be clear, I DO want to continue with an open relationship and where-ever that may go. I realise it's a thing about me, not about them. I just need some help with getting myself back on track.

Thanks!