Hey all. I've never really posted here before, but my partner and I have been polyam since about March of this year. I personally don't have any other relationships or connections going on, but she is seeing one other person.

For context, the beginning of this relationship was a little difficult because it was both of our first time legitimately trying this out. There was a situation a few years ago that she was flirting with someone, but it turned out that the guy was actually a serial cheater and was hiding multiple relationships. Not a great experience.

This time around has been a lot different. The communication has been open and honest, all metas are in contact with one another (not required, just something that happened) and we all play table top games together on an online stream.

Here's where some of my concerns are coming in. As i said, i'm the only person involved in the polycule that does not have another relationship or connection, and my partner, who I cohabit with, is going to visit the other person she is seeing in a few days. We live several states away, and they've never officially met in person. My partner's partner has both a wife and another girlfriend that they and their wife date together (not as a triad, but as two dating one).

We've talked about some boundaries surrounding the big event, and I'm not controlling what she does in any way, i've just asked to not be given details about what happens unless I ask for them when she gets back, and for her to text/call me once a day if she has the time. She's agreed to this and I think that's great, but I've talked with my partner several times about needing a little more attention before the trip and it feels like neither of us really know how to address some of the feelings I'm having. I asked for a special night or date before/after the trip, but neither of us really know how to actually navigate this.

I've also asked in the past for things like "please dont send the same texts/photos to me that you do to other partners." and "while we are spending quality time together please don't text other parthers" but I don't feel like either of these are very well remembered or respected, which absolutely doesn't help with any negative feelings i've been having, especially when the response I get about the quality time is "all the time we spend together is special to me, so when am i meant to talk to my other partner?" and/or "sorry i was just telling them i'm on a date (two hours into the date)" to me this feels... dismissive and disrespectful, but that might be something to address another time.

I personally am concerned of having feelings of abandonment during this trip, especially because during the pandemic we haven't gone more than 12 hours at a time without seeing one another. I recognize that this trip might be good for both of us in that way as well, but I otherwise will be alone and work in healthcare, with inflexible and long hours, so going out isn't an option for me both from a risk standpoint (Delta variant) and from a "i need to get rest" standpoint.

Does anyone have any ideas on how we might navigate this? I'm experiencing a little jealously, and some feelings of abandonment and don't want them to build up.

Please don't direct me to reading the Jealousy Workbook, i've done a lot of work with it regarding my larger personal jealousy issues, but this feels different than relationship jealousy and is more related to being jealous that I don't have what she has, and that I don't get to go enjoy myself in that way as she does. I'm not someone who forms romantic connections easily, so meetups and online connections have never really been very effective for me.

TLDR: Nesting partner is going on a trip to visit her other partner, and I am unconnected and alone for 4 days and afraid of abandonment feelings. What do?