So myself and one of my partners have been feuding. We've been feuding over a variety of issues we can't resolve.....

Including him bringing food and drink for his friend/new roommate that contains something I'm rather allergic to into my car whilst I was doing him a favour and picking up a friend of his.

The fact I can never communicate to his standards, yet he can't tell me what he's feeling. He seems to want me to bring up every issue face to face as it happens or right after. Yet he stews on stuff for weeks and never says anything.

Also he seems to think I blow things out of proportion and get mad at things that no one cares about but me.

So tonight I get asked this gem of a question by 32 "And lemme ask you from the moment on the couch, if I decided to go our separate ways, would you still love and care for partner like you say you love me, or would you walk away from that too?"

I sat there and I thought really long and really hard about this question before I answered. I proceed to inform them that that yes I would still love them I would treasure them I would care for them and I would try to make this work. I would do everything in my power to ensure that we stayed together.

However I also proceeded to inform them that I did not know if it would truly work out because those 2 live together. I am not about to be in an environment where I feel uncomfortable or I make people uncomfortable. And considering the partner in question suffers from agoraphobia, a medical condition making them imuno-compramised, has several grand in medical debt, and works only part time; there is a finite amount of stuff we can go out and do as a couple. As I too have some medical debt at the moment, and can't afford to pay for two people 100% of the time.

32 and our partner 25 both live in a condo/townhouse type thing its owned by 25's grandpa and When you look up the building in question it says you can flat out by the building and that the monthly rent is around like $900 - $1000 for the mortgage. There are 4 people living in that house; 32, 25, 25's brother (who is moving out soon to live with another relativedue to getting a better job), and the new roommate all the way from California. Everyone but the person from California pays $200 a month in rent. And then they were splitting the Internet bill but but currently the brother is paying the Internet bill because turns out he was stealing money from 25 and 32.

As of right now 25, 32, and soon to be the brand new roommate (once they get a job) all rely on 25's grandfather, grandmother and college aged sister (when she's in town) to drive them to and from work along with anywhere else they need to go because 25 has severe motion sickness ocean sickness and 32 maintains they are too paranoid to drive a car unless it's a car built for a single person. 25 and 32 work at the same job but they have very different schedules and it's to the point that there are days wheveryday is where the grandfather makes 3/4 car trips to this job and sometimes waits half an hour because of a gap in shifts. Or they'll make the one go into work like 6:00 a.m. to sometime in the afternoon and then they will schedule the other one like 5 at night to 10p.m.

The grandfather is unfortunately a bit of a toxic human a human and frequently sits there and makes transphobic comments about 25 among other things. And is currently trying to convince 25 to move back into his place (there is no space for 25 to even have his own room) so he can sell the condo townhouse that they are living in. When 32 gets brought up gramps claims he "forgot" about them.

Their family both close and extended is aware of the situation and our relationship. I then proceeded to point out the fact that that their family would probably picking 2 sides and we would have pro 32 and pro 27 teams. I didn't want the family breathing down 25's neck being like "pick 32 we know them and you've known them longer also you live together" or "pick 27 she can drive, she can cook, and she's got a full time job."

There would be no keeping this secret from his family. As I'm not going to do any favors for 32 or do anything to help 32 considering everything that just happened. I'm going to keep doing things for 25 but then that puts us in an awkward situation where it's going to come out. I'm not stupid and I know that when things come out there is a good possibility the grandpa would try and get rid of 32. He seems to already want to and considering he would have to start driving them to the grocery store more often, picking them up to and from work, medical appointments ect. Along with the new roommate who I would be cordial too but I'm not gonna do a lot of favors for them as I don't know them well.

This another issue is that those 2 want to get their own place at some point. 32 wants a place where him, his new roommate, 25, another partner and myself (before I got dumped) could all live. However If they ever do get their own place I'm not going to feel welcome there or be welcome there. And I want to live with my partner at some point. I want to have a house where I feel loved treasured and respected. I pointed out that I didn't want to make 25 choose between living with me or living with 32, but that i didn't want to be in a relationship where I was living alone.

I then get this message from 32 "So in one sentence you say that you would love him even if I decided to step away. And then in one sentence, you say that if I'm stepping away that in the end you, the relationship with you and 25 would end up the same."

I reiterate my points from above This and point out that all of this stuff is going to take a negative toll on 25's mental health and that he might try and blame himself as over the years his family blamed every bad thing on him. That it's not fair to him to put him through all of this and leave him with guilt. So if I figured if it got bad I'd leave to try and protect his mental health.

My final reply from 32 "I see. Then I think I've heard enough. Just imagine that you are now outside of my house right now, and I'm holding the door cause we are done here. Slamming the door now. Any message that you send after this point will be ignored. Goodbye."