So following the advice I received previously on a post I sat down and wrote out all of my feelings and then I shared it with my partners. As I feel/felt i wasn't being treated like a partner. Also that they were prioritizing a friend who has 0 romantic interest in them and has said so numerous times way above me, for a lot of things I've had problems with in this relationship. Following the "When X Occurred I felt (blank) because" format. I had a meaningful conversation with the one partner and I'm not going to lie most of it wasn't their fault but then again they weren't paying attention and didn't know.

My other partner the primary reason for this post 32 kinda stewed on it for several days and well today we talked it out and it ended in for lack of a better term a dumpster fire.

Roughly half of the talking points we brought up we got through just fine. However there was several we didn't and I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Firstly I'm allergic to a product, It's often used in food beverages and they use it in health and beauty products along with a smell. I have told them this and we've now had 3 whoopsies. Over the course of almost 2 years. The current status of my allergy if it comes into contact with my skin the affected area gets red and blotchy and I will scratch that area raw. If the smell is potent enough and I'm in a confined space my eyes are watery I'll get a coughing fit (learned hard way with a confined space and an air freshener). Last time I ingested this on accident my throat got funky and scratchy and after just like a microbite like less than a 1/4 teaspoon. Per my mom when I was a baby if I drank the product I'd be swollen in my ladybits when I went pee.

The 3rd incident they both got themselves a new roommate and we went to go pick this person up. The layout of their apartment is the kitchen and living room are connected but it's a fairly large space. 32 decided to pack this person a lunchbox as they had came by train. They made them food and drink and the beverage contained my allergen. I was not paying attention at the time which is shame on me I will freely admit I was doing something else but I was in the living room portion of the living space, looking in the opposite direction of them while they made the lunch. We pick this person up and they proceed to engage in the food and beverage in my car at which point they question what the drink is and when they are told it's my allergin I calmly tell them to keep it away from me.

When I was discussing the 3rd incident with 32, I pointed out that I felt hurt that they decided to do this. I explained that there could have been a car accident, the person could have been clumsy, and that any number of things could have happened that would have caused this product to potentially spill all over my car or splash on me. I also pointed out the fact that with allergies you never know what's going to happen and that they can worsen over time or with more exposure. I also proceeded to point out that if I had an allergic reaction and it was bad enough, I was driving the car I could have potentially crashed the car and seriously injured or killed all 4 of us in the car, among others.

32 met me with flippant comments about how nothing bad happened and seemed to misunderstand what I was trying to say and was putting words in my mouth about how "he was not trying to get me to get us all killed and have an accident" His other argument was that this container was completely 100% sealed air tight, however the other person was drinking out of it at times.

After all of that was hashed out 32 took it upon himself to point out that he was upset at how I communicated with him because I chose to write everything down and send it via discord while he was working. He was upset by that because he doesn't like me blowing up his phone with notifications and walls of text. I will freely admit that I did type a lot, and that while I tried spacing it out by issue some of it was meaty.

The bulk of what I complained about literally happened this out literally happened in less than a 1.5 week timespan and involved this new roommate. I spent a few days like 2 or 3 trying to sort out if it was just jealousy or I needed to actually say something because it was a legit problem.

I attempted to explain all of this, Along with the fact that if he wants to have a face-to-face discussion that is next to impossible to have as hes constantly always playing on a phone or a laptop and talking to other people. I then proceeded to point out how we had a movie night not even a week prior and we were watching a movie that I was super excited to show the 2 of them and he spent the entire movie only half paying attention because he was having a bunch of conversations on discord.

We do text based roleplays with one another and he also does this with other people. He frequently forgets to reply to any of my stuff and I brought that up. I pointed out that on movie night I glanced over on several occasions to see if he was paying attention and he was busy role playing with people because I could kinda sort of make out the message on his laptop, so how can I expect to talk to him face to face if he can't even reply to stuff I send him for fun because we only hang out irl once a week due to schedules. At which point he proceeds to lose it and tell me in a rather heated voice and tone that he hasn't been replying to me in our role play threads because it's no longer fun anymore it only feels like an obligation and it's felt that way for several weeks.

I'm not going to lie at that point I saw red and told him that he had no right to criticize me for how I chose to communicate to him if hes not even going to bother communicating to me at all. I pointed out that you know what interests change things happen all you had to sit there and tell me was "Hey this no longer feels fun is there something else we can do?" Or " Hey I'm really not inspired right now to do this could we put it on hold for a while"

And at that point the argument ended with him going off on me for daring to say that and me pointing out that it's not fair to hold me to one standard when you can't even match the standard.