Funny little thing that's been happening with myself and my NP lately that I find kinda funny. We've been dating a lot more recently due to an extended lockdown and a desire to meet and connect with new people. One of the key issues we've had in our relationship is sexual incompatibility when both not dating other people, with her wanting to have sex more regularly than I do (mostly my lack of sex drive is due to HRT and job stress). I find that when I have more partners and people I can be intimate with (doesn't need to be sexual) that my overall sex drive goes up, so the recent dating has been good for that.

The funny thing is though, that the types of people we are connecting with almost mirror this incompatibility! And this has almost always been the case in our dating life, with her generally connecting with people who want more casual (and sexual) relationships while the people I connect with have tended to identify somewhere on the ace spectrum! Its been a funny little coincidence but the even stranger thing is that she absolutely hates casual sex (outside of play party dynamics) whilst I quite enjoy it! So I've been developing quite deep connections without having any sex and really just enjoyable relationships whilst she keeps connecting with people who want casual sex relationships. The other funny thing is I am a huge advocate for vulnerability as an intentional practice and one of the main people I've been connecting with (and have talked about having an ongoing relationship with) really struggles and cannot yet manage vulnerability in a romantic relationship. It's just interesting how different the people we've been connecting with are and how they align (or dont) with aspects of ourselves.