I've been in a triad for a year and a half. Six weeks ago, my gf met a guy that lives 2 hours away. Within the first three days, he told her he loved her. She spent mother's day with him and his mom, instead of her own husband and 20 yo daughter. It went from, I'll see him every other weekend, to 4 nights a week. He buys her things and waits on her, hand and foot. He's monogamus, but she is convinced that she'll convert him to poly and BDSM.

Two days ago, she announces that she's moving in with him and wants a separation from her husband. I know that she's been unhappy, but was making more long term plans to save and move out on her own.

Here's my dilemma. I am uncomfortable with the red flag that she is dating. So, I state my boundary that I am uncomfortable staying at his house. If she chooses to move 2 hours away, that will severely limit the number of times I can go to see her, because I will have to get a room. She tells me that I've given her an ultimatum. We had planned to hand-fast in September. She has put those plans on hold now.

After much thought, I agree to hold off the hand-fasting. Her impulsivity has reach a kind of mania (she's bipolar 2) and that's a trigger for me. I don't think her escapist fling will last long. He has no clue how to handle the reality of her or polyamory. I wonder how he'll handle her next new eye candy.

My course at this time is to stay consistent and continue loving her. Hopefully showing her what actual love is will win out. In the meantime, I'm going to protect my heart and keep myself out of the mess she's making.