Posting on an alt because I’m insecure about how emotional I may be. Also I’m sleep deprived, so I apologize for typos.

My secondary partner died yesterday. Completely unexpectedly, cause currently unknown. Took a nap and didn’t wake up.

He, my wife and I (33nb) were a triad. He was with us at our wedding and on our wedding night. I wear a ring of entwined metal rings (symbolizing their shared love for me) on a chain around my neck. We’d briefly discussed him being our sperm donor. We’d planned on discussing that with his wife in the fall.

I have no idea how to grieve this. Our closest friends feel we’ve lost a spouse. But too many people think we only lost a friend. And I am bereaved beyond words. I don’t know how to navigate my utter dismay in a world that thinks I lost a close friend.