I have been with my primary partner for about 10 years now.

The last two years have been extremely rocky and divorce became part of the picture. In the last year, however, I felt like we have done some really amazing strides and thought we were closer.

Last year, sex was non-existent, there wasn't much talking and we were just "co-parenting and co-existing". After Corona things were tough at the beginning, but our relationship became more sexual, she has asked me if I want to buy a house together and wants to have a second kid.

The other night, she asked me to look up something on her phone for our daughter. At the same time a text come in that says "Sorry things with your husband are bad".

I hate the snooping but I clicked through and briefly saw the rest of the conversation, basically she is telling her partner that we are not sleeping in the same bedroom, that I had moved out for a while and that our interactions are solely for baby reasons.

I am taking time to digest before I have a conversation, but just in case I was going crazy I did have a conversation with her where I asked her what she wanted from me and whether she saw us long term: She said, "absolutely and that she wants to continue building our family.

At the same time, I notice she doesn't say I love you, she doesn't add my pictures as part of her social media and coupled with these findings I am not sure how to feel.

Part of me feels bad that I snooped, the other part feels horrible that she is denying and lying about our relationship. Her partner is a long-distance partner and as such is easy for her to lie about these things.

We are all grown up here, practicing poly so there's no need for her to lie, if she didn't want to be with me, I have other partners and a full life so eventually, I'll be ok.

What I assume is happening is that she has one foot in the relationship and another foot out....and I can't be sure whether she is lying to me or lying to the guy or to both of us.

I'd love any advice you guys may have.