So I’ve always been in monogamous relationships until an abusive relationship that essentially coerced me into polyamory. I realized that there were some good things about it and that I logically like the idea better than monogamy. I’m currently in an ethically non monogamous relationship with my primary partner. I want polyam to work and tbh I don’t think one person could satisfy all of the needs I have when it comes to relationships. I’m also kinky and the community is very intertwined with the polyam community. It just make sense. But like emotionally my brain wants to feel emotions that fit monogamy. When I think about my partner with someone else it’s painful and then I just start hating myself for being in pain for a reason that isn’t logical. But this is also like an extremely healthy relationship. We are very transparent with each other, we talk about our boundaries, we’ve disagreed, but never fought, and I want to be with this human for the rest of my life. How can I like un-condition myself or deprogram myself out of these emotions?