I am not looking for pity. I am not looking for anyone to think that I feel like I deserve anything, and I am glad people are honest with me. But man does it suck.

I am a bigger dude. Bigger than most. I know that it is not ideal for many. That is fine. I could work my ass off and drop pounds. It is a lifelong struggle for me. I do not hide who I am, and early in any potential partners I make sure that they know this.

Tonight I had someone message me about a situation that she was in. I won't go into super details, but she is newer to poly and there are A LOT of rules in place. She was looking for an emotional, deeper connection with someone to talk often and all day long. That is exactly what I would love.

We get to talking some, I shared my pictures to her. One of the rules was nothing past kissing on the cheek. No kissing on the lips and no bedroom stuff for now. I was alright with that as I would love something deep mentally and emotionally. Well when I shared pictures, she basically stated she was no longer interested and hope I find someone better than her. She states she was bigger herself as well.

I know that I likely dodged a bullet. I've been at this for 4 years, and still get hit with my size being an issue. It going to happen.

But man does it fucking hurt. And it really ruins a high I was having tonight on people actually wanting to talk to me...